My Little Nemo

One day recently, I told my husband, Julian, that Beckham reminds me of Nemo.

He’s our own little Nemo with his lucky “fin”… I mean, foot 💙

His left foot may look a little different, and it may need some extra help along the way, but just like Nemo’s lucky fin, it’s simply one of the many things that make Beckham special.

And after weeks of wondering what exactly was going on with his foot and whether there was anything we should be doing to help it, we finally got some answers.

We Finally Saw Orthopedics

One of the first things Beckham’s orthopedist confirmed was that he does not have a clubfoot.

Instead, she diagnosed him with metatarsus adductus, meaning the front portion of his left foot curves inward.

She asked whether his foot had always looked this way or whether the positioning had changed since birth.

His foot has actually gotten noticeably worse over time. When Beckham was born, his left foot turned inward some, but it was much more subtle. As he has grown, we’ve watched it gradually become more pronounced, and now his foot naturally rests significantly turned inward.

His orthopedist explained that this progression makes sense based on what she saw during his exam.

She believes the deformity is caused by a muscle imbalance related to his myelomeningocele.

Essentially, the muscle and tendon that pull his foot inward appear to be stronger and tighter, while the muscles that would normally counteract that movement and pull his foot outward don’t appear to have much, if any, function.

Because those muscles aren’t working together equally, the stronger pull on one side is gradually pulling his foot inward—which likely explains why the positioning has become more noticeable since birth.

The encouraging part is that his foot is still fairly flexible. His ankle actually has great upward range of motion, and his doctor can stretch his foot back to approximately a neutral position. He also doesn’t have the tight, downward-pointing ankle position that is typically part of a clubfoot deformity.

Beckham Got His First Cast!

Because his left foot is still flexible, we’re starting with the least invasive option: serial casting.

Waiting for our first cast!

Beckham got his first long-leg stretch cast today!

The current plan is for him to be re-casted weekly for four weeks. Each week, they’ll remove his cast, stretch his foot a little farther into a corrected position, and place a new cast to hold that stretch. The hope is that, little by little, we can gradually get his foot into a better position.

After those four weeks, the plan is to transition him into an AFO—an ankle-foot brace—to help maintain the correction.

Beckham did great! No tears were shed. He was just ready for a nap afterwards.

Of course, casting has already come with a few inconveniences I didn’t fully think about until we got home...

For the next month, there will be no tub baths, which means this poor boy will be surviving on sponge baths—which he absolutely despises.

We also quickly realized that sleepers and pants are out of the question because we can’t get them over his long-leg cast. So Beckham will apparently be spending the next month living his best Winnie-the-Pooh life in shirts and onesies 😂

Cue Mom immediately placing a Target order for clothes that will make our lives a little easier

His doctor did explain that because the underlying muscle imbalance is related to his spina bifida, there is a possibility that his foot could begin turning inward again over time as he grows.

If the deformity persists or comes back despite casting and bracing, he may eventually need a procedure called a posterior tibialis tenotomy, which would release the tight tendon that is pulling his foot inward.

For now, though, we’re taking it one cast at a time and hoping we can get his little foot into a better position while preserving as much flexibility and range of motion as possible as he grows.

An Update on Catheter Coverage

In our last update, I shared that we were waiting to hear whether insurance would approve the increased number of catheters Beckham needs each month.

Unfortunately, we officially got our answer: they denied coverage.

I’m not going to lie—this really upsets me.

I understand that insurance companies have policies, limits, and approval processes, but it’s incredibly frustrating when those limits don’t reflect what a patient actually needs medically.

These aren’t optional supplies. We aren’t catheterizing Beckham this frequently because we want to. We’re catheterizing him to protect his bladder and kidneys!

It’s another part of medical parenting I never really thought about before living it firsthand: sometimes having a prescription and documentation that something is medically necessary still doesn’t mean insurance will cover what your child actually needs.

So, for now, we’ll keep figuring it out and making sure Beckham has the supplies he needs—whether insurance covers them or not.

Returning to Work

There’s one more pretty big update since my last post.

After a lot of thought, I officially made the decision to cut back to PRN at work—which means that instead of having a set part-time or full-time schedule every week, I’ll work on an as-needed basis and pick up shifts based on both the hospital’s needs and my availability.

And I have to say, finally making this decision feels like a ginormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

It means I’ll have the flexibility to primarily work weekends when Julian is home and able to care for Beckham. Right now, we don’t have anyone else trained to cath him, so having that flexibility makes all the difference for our family.

My Most Important Title: Mom

Having Beckham—and everything that has happened over the last several months—has forced me to slow down in ways I probably never would have otherwise. It has made me reevaluate what really matters to me and what I want my priorities to look like during this season of my life.

My career is important to me. I worked incredibly hard to get where I am, and I’m proud of what I do. There was a time when cutting back would have felt almost like I was stepping away from something I had worked so hard to build.

But my perspective has changed.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing a career or having professional goals, and what is right for one family may look completely different from what is right for another.

But for me, I’ve realized that my children are my number one priority.

My kids are only little once.

They will never again be as little as they are today. Every single day they grow, change, learn something new, and need me in slightly different ways. Someday, they won’t need their mom in the ways they do right now.

But that day isn’t today.

There will always be opportunities to work more. Careers can grow and change. Money will come and go.

But I can’t get this time back.

I can’t rewind their childhoods and relive the days when they were this little. I can’t replace missed time with them later because I suddenly realize how quickly it all went.

So while cutting back at work certainly comes with sacrifices and some very real financial fears, I know with certainty that this is the right decision for my children and my family.

Because of all the titles I may carry throughout my life, being their mom will always be the most important one.

And right now, they still need me.

So that’s where I want to be 💙